This one is for Mom

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This one is for you Mom…

Mummy, I can’t even count the number of times I call you. Your name may be Mrs. Savita Manoj Brijpuria to the world but to me you are my mother. The one who brought me to this world and the one who taught me to deal with this world.

You are the best teacher to me and I have learnt so much from you.

You taught me to be good to the ones who are good to you and be ten times as good to the world who are bad to you as it ensures that they are left with no option but to agree with you.

You taught me to walk the world learning their customs but to never forget my personal values.

I loved the way you fought for me. I appreciate how you attended my school functions to make me smile whether I participated or not. I adored you for loving me even when I failed. I appreciate your belief that I would learn the information I needed to know when the time was right, through school, college or life, and if I never learnt then probably there was no need for me to learn and I could survive without knowing it.

Mom you actually made me achieve so much, with your strength and belief.

I hated Math and still do but your challenge to my Math teacher helped me to actually become a Math Honours so that with pride you could flaunt about it.

I probably am the most fickle minded child of yours but to every rejection or new decision you had a logical reason to give to papa, as he fumed.

I have live my life the way I want because you believed I could so I believed that I could.

You may have not been like other moms. You may have cried when I fell down but you also taught me to be thankful that I could stand back up.

You never wore make up but you never stopped me from trying it on me. You believe in being yourself and that is what I love about you. You have always been the strength of our family and would always be.

I love you for being who you are. You are different and I love you for that. You hated to cook still I never remember a day or a meal you skipped because you did not feel like cooking. The way you supported Papa through all the highs and lows makes me respect you more as a person. From taking charge of his work to us at home, every responsibility that you handle is so perfect with all your lovely imperfections. You learnt driving after your heart attack and everyone looked at your courage with amazement.

I still remember when I was asked who is my role model I could only say ‘My Mother’ not just because you are my mum but because you are a strongest person I know. I want to be like you. I want to have the strength you have.

Mom may you live your dream…I would love to see you doing all you want to in life.

Thank you mom for teaching us to be individuals. Thank you for your little gestures that make me feel so special, so connected to you. I sometimes doubt if I could be such a complete mother to my own kids.

Love you always

 

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Winds of Change

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They never inform you before coming, but arrive when you need them the most,
They keep you waiting till you wish for them with all your heart,
They come when all your tricks are played and have no capacity left for mischief,
They make sure that you are in pure state of body and mind.

Many fear change but change can be good, it makes you feel alive.

I came to this realization when I was in college. Throughout my childhood, we had shifted from home to home every two years. This change brought excitement, new surroundings to explore and new experiences to enjoy. When I was in college, we had lived in the same home for four years without shifting and it was puzzling, I was, we were craving the excitement of our next move.

I went to mother to find out ‘when’ we would shift again. She laughed and told me, ‘When you finally find a place you love, you settle in forever. No one has had any complaints about our home and instead of moving, we will be buying the house.’

I was stunned and disappointed. No more shifting meant no more adventures. The winds of change would be gone forever.

My mum could see the disappointed and she said to me, ‘Just because we have stopped shifting the adventure is not over. Now that you kids have grown up, it is time that instead of making you a part of our adventures we give you a chance to have your own adventures. You will have peace till complete your education. Once you are done, the world will be waiting for you with open arms. The winds of change take you on an adventure and the values that we have imbibed in you will help you change directions, challenge and guide you to do what’s right.’

She was inspiring and even today, when I stand at the rift that the winds of change has brought I remember what she said to me. It helps me decide right and more right.

Source of motivation and how it changed my life

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We are born with a purpose, a purpose beyond our duties as children to our parents, siblings to siblings and friends to friends. We need to use the talents God has given us to fulfil our purpose as human beings, towards human kind. To fulfil our purpose, we need to look for our source of motivation. I found mine within my own family.
As a child, I drew my motivation and inspiration from my father, who generously spent thousands of rupees educating the children of his site workers. I initially thought he was wasting his money but my mother explained that he wanted to bring joy to their lives like we had in ours. And it did! It brought smiles to the faces of both the children and parents.
They taught me that we as human being must be generous to those less fortunate.
As an adult, when I bought my first house, I threw a party for my closest family and friends. My father did not come, he told me to enjoy myself. I was a bit disappointed until my mother explained that he was very happy for me, but he wanted to give thanks for these gifts to him and his daughter.
They taught me that we as human being should be grateful.
As an adult, when I struggled my siblings would prop me up with motivational quotes and long conversations until I felt better. I remember one quote vividly, ‘There is always a dark night before the beautiful dawn, don’t forget even the negatives are black before they churn out a beautiful photograph.’ They through their words of motivation and continuous support have made me who I am today!
They taught me that we as human should be supportive.

A Modern Woman

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The fastest way to change a society is to mobilize the women of the world. ~ Charles Malik

The role of women in society is constantly changing. Each generation changes the next through their words, deeds, actions and inactions. 100 years ago it wasn’t acceptable for a woman to be anything but a daughter, wife and mother. Educating girls was often an afterthought. We lived in a male dominated society until one generation of women dared to dream. They learnt, they taught, they passed on their ideals and the next generation, grew up believing in equality. Each generation of educated woman since has slowly transformed our world to create today’s modern woman.

A great example of this change exists within my own family – my mother andmy sister.

My mother is a simple housewife. She lived her life through us – her children. Our achievements and successes were hers. Our failures and criticisms were hers. She loved us and encouraged us but her life was restricted to home and hearth. She wasn’t raised to want or dream of more.

My sister – studied hard, got married, had a child, took a break from work to see him through his infancy and then she plunged back into the corporate world knowing she had more, gifts and skills, to offer. She is not only a daughter, a wife and a mother but also a valued member of the work force. Her world expands beyond the four walls of her home.

One family, two generations, two very different lives. We are who we are because she ‘our mother’ encouraged us to dream.

I am a modern woman of today. I didn’t have to fight to be educated. I am surrounded by strong, independent women, who do not let gender define ‘who they are’. This positive environment makes it difficult to connect to the concept of women empowerment. Then you turn around and are confronted by instances of inequality, of chauvinism that still exists in many segments of society and realize the need for empowerment.

I do not believe, however, that empowering women is enough. We need to work for society to truly to change, to create a world where a daughter is no less valued than a son or a world where ‘rape’ does not exist. I believe we have reached a stage wherein enlightenment is as important as empowerment; for only when each and every individual believes in equality will equality prevail.

We as woman have the power. We are the ones that shape the future by educating our children.  An enlightened woman raises a progressive child who ensures that our society continues to develop in the right direction.

Come let us become the change, we wish to see.

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Ghar Ka Khana

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Missing your parents, their love and concern when you move out of home is expected. You are aware you will be homesick and you brace yourself for those days, knowing nothing can eliminate the homesickness but a call or two will help.

What you do not expect to miss are the little comforts of home such as ‘maa ke haath ka khana’. After all, part of the adventure and the pleasure of living away from home is the opportunity to eat out at restaurants like Dominos and KFC. The first few days or even the first few weeks, you enjoy exploring new cuisines but then, longing sets in for a home cooked meal. You begin dreaming of the meals your mother prepared.

If you are lucky and you know how to cook, you can satisfy your cravings. It might not be as good as the food your mother cooks but it will diminish the desire for a home cooked meal. If not, start crying because the craving for ‘ghar ka khana’ never stops.

So, if you are planning on moving out of your parent’s home – khana banana seekh lo warna akele rahoge tobhookha rehena padega.

It’s funny; my father was determined not to face the embarrassment of a daughter who couldn’t cook because my mother couldn’t cook when they got married. So, soon as I was old enough, I learnt how to chop onions and tomatoes and boil rice. Unfortunately, even today, the extent of my cooking skills remains at great knife skills. I can also make an excellent cup of coffee, which I only make if I want brownie points and compliments. My poor father 😦

My mother, on the other hand, went from having no cooking skills to being an excellent cook, whose rajma chawal and gaaram ghee rotis are famous in our family. She also makes delicious ‘upma’ that I often wake up dreaming about. In fact, my ghar ka khana deprivation sometimes gets so intense that I rather skip a meeting than lose the chance to eat ghar ka khana from my colleague’s lunch boxes. Despite the fact that I am lucky to have a very caring aunt who sends me home cooked meals, regularly.

 

Most days, however, I eat a lot of take out – the result of these bad eating habits was ill-health and doing rounds of doctors. Here are their words of knowledge and caution, they bestowed upon me and I pass on to you:

Our body is 75% water and we need to drink 3 liters of water every day.

A balanced diet consists of 4 meals – breakfast, lunch, evening snack and dinner.

Breakfast is the heaviest meal and dinner the lightest. Breakfast is the heaviest because it is the first meal after an 8 hour fast. Lunch should contain all the essentials – rice, dal, vegetable, salad, curd, roti and sweet that the body needs to function.

We should avoid butter because our food traditionally contains a lot of oil and ghee. We really don’t need more fat in our diet.

A little exercise goes a long way to maintaining good health.

Ghar ke khana is saade but is much healthier than meals from restaurants. An uncomplicated diet leads to a healthier life.

So, if you are planning on moving out of your parent’s home and you wish to stay healthy – ‘khana banana seekh lo’.